Inexcess were lucky to catch Duane and Catherine O’Kane, founders of Clearmind International, on their recent visit to Liverpool. We couldn’t resist to chance to talk to the two relationship gurus about the workshop they were delivering called Relationship Alive – especially as it gave us the opportunity to ask them about their own relationship.
As they say: Relationship Alive redefines the difficulty of relationships, and offers another solution. It explains why we are attracted to the person we are in love with, and why over time that relationship can become so painful. It reveals the way out of the struggle.
The promise of romantic love is powerful, and is reinforced constantly through movies, the media, and even fairy tales. The promise is that in relationship we will finally feel loved, whole, and finally get in the present from our partner what we believe we don’t have and didn’t get back then in the past. We want to write a happy ending to a bad old story, to fill some conscious or unconscious sense of lack. We are attracted to a certain type of person that in some way connects to our past. We typically see the problem of love as that of being loved properly by our partners, rather than of being loving ourselves.
In this workshop we discover that the purpose of relationship is to evolve, past the early ‘romantic’ stage, into a deeper place for healing, where each can experience fullness of self in relation to the other. The difficulty of relationship is transformed into opportunity for true intimacy, through learning to become our partner’s ’soft place to fall’. None of us is perfect, and it is our imperfections that expand our capacity for love. The greater our capacity for love, the greater our experience of love.