Inexcess: In search of recovery

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Recovery should be fun, but some days it hurts

George Williams

George is the founder and the presenter of Here in his blog George talks about his inner most thoughts on his journey through recovery, his experiences making the show and shares his insights into the world around us etc.

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Lost, alone and full of fear

Posted by George Williams on Monday, April 14th, 2008

There are so many times I’ve felt lost and alone and full of fear, not just when i was on the bottle or up to no good. You see, fear can rule and last a lifetime and it shapes and moulds who we become and why. I was never afraid to look in the mirror, I just didn’t like what I saw sometimes. Life can be difficult but we should be honest at how much we make it tougher. The decisions we make, the friends we keep, the shortcuts we try and the excesses we enjoy until they take a grip and the fun and thrill disappears. Not many people make it back from where I’ve been and although thats a big statement I understand that I just had to go further with it because I was reaching for the stars at every level and with everything. The highs where high but the lows where an abyss.

I asked my self thousands of times over the years, why me?. Why did I feel so different. Why I was so strong but could feel so scared. Why I did really stupid things when actually I could be really responsible. Why I acted the fool when really I wanted respect. Why, when I showed so much promise with obvious talent would I salbotage everything and break myself. Why I had so much love and caring in me but was so afraid to show it. Why me. I asked that since I can remember, probably everyday.Was it nature or nurture? Why, why, why? You can drive yourself mad asking that. I was effected by the events that happened in my youth but so is everyone else and it’s the choices we make and the path we follow that defines who we are and what we become.

Why can be relevant but it’s not everything. The more we let go of the fear, the more happiness and peace you will find. The tougher the life we have then the more resourses within we build. Don’t ever give up, ever. Please use the site and ask as many questions as you like or if you just want some company to let the emotions out then let it flow. I’ve made so many mistakes and had so much pain I would hate to see anyone go through it. Most of all I’ve lived it, not read it.

Category: George's Blog

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